“I’ve told you this 100 times, never, never put daddy’s records in the EZ-Bake Oven!”
ExSqueeze me?!? Our Send in the Caption Contest Winner is….drumroll please….is Calzone! (Calzone! also contributed a runner-up caption – “Baby’s First Broken Sternum LP”) There are some sick, but very funny, (or funny, but very sick), people out there. Good to know. Thanks to everyone who played along.
(26 votes, average: 3.54 out of 5)
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August 29th, 2009 at 7:03 am
CPR Training for Parents
August 29th, 2009 at 9:23 am
“I have heard that when you squeeze white girls, money comes out!”
August 29th, 2009 at 10:57 am
\Daddy, stop, I just peed my pants!\
August 29th, 2009 at 11:08 am
C’mon. Make the little squeak. MAKE THE LITTLE SQUEAK, DAMNIT!
August 29th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Other than the squeaky sound, she seems so life-like.
August 29th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Where did they hide the damn battery compartment on this thing?!?!
August 29th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
rare p. townshend solo Lp
August 29th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Daddy …please don’t go.
I’m sorry sweetheart but Daddy has to. Someday you’ll understand.
While I’m gone, promise me that you will take care of you mother. O.K.?
I’ll miss you Daddy.
August 29th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
How to Find the Smile Button in Small Children, Vol. 1: An Audio Guide
August 29th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Barack Obama Squeezes a Girl (in Stereo)
August 29th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
When you push right about here their eyes bug out.
August 29th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Yes universal healthcare does sound great Mr. Pwesident. Now please stop shaking me.
August 29th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
“My name is Talky Tina, and I’m going to throw up on you.”
August 29th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
The Sotomayor doll for GOP Senators: squeeze her and she says, “Good luck with the Hispanic vote.”
August 30th, 2009 at 6:41 am
“Yes, I AM daddy’s little girl. Now, stop f***ing squeezing!”
August 30th, 2009 at 8:43 am
“You’re Pushing Too Hard, On Me”
August 30th, 2009 at 10:13 am
You may always be my dad, but I’m done being your kid, you squeezie jerk.
August 30th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Daddy, I don’t have to wear my Sunday school dress today…
Don’t you remember??? I’m going with you to that record show!
So, instead of this dress… put me in THAT “LP Cover Lover T- Shirt”!!!
…silly Daddy!
August 30th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
E sempre o Papai!, Brazilian for “molesting uncle”.
August 30th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
The shortest way to a child’s heart is through her chest.
August 30th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
“Just Press ‘Play’ !”
August 30th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
As far as child rearing is concerned, I’m all thumbs!
August 31st, 2009 at 12:50 am
look at her hand it looks like the hand of a 40years old man.
August 31st, 2009 at 5:29 am
I met you on “Craigslist” now your all mine.
August 31st, 2009 at 5:45 am
“Why you little…!!!”
August 31st, 2009 at 6:14 am
“I’ve told you this 100X, Never, Never put daddy’s records in your EZ Bake Oven!”
August 31st, 2009 at 8:24 am
“I think [gasp!] you need to rethink your maneuver, Dr. Heimlich!”
August 31st, 2009 at 1:07 pm
We leave this world together, do you hear me?! We leave this earth together!
August 31st, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Dress….too…..tight…….
August 31st, 2009 at 7:22 pm
screw this controller, i still love my old atari joystick the best.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Smile or I am going to crush you with these thumbs of steel.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Have fun living with the Cubans, Baby. Sorry again I lost you in a bet.
September 1st, 2009 at 4:08 am
“SHAKE ME! SHAKE ME LIKE A BRITISH NANNY!”
(apologies to Family Guy for stealing)
September 1st, 2009 at 6:21 am
“Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!
September 1st, 2009 at 10:56 am
God Damn, The Pusher Man!
September 1st, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Obama – The current solution to asthma (for the poor).
September 1st, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Music to Crush a Child To
September 1st, 2009 at 3:52 pm
new lp from the sax offender orchestra
September 1st, 2009 at 7:48 pm
“Baby’s First Broken Sternum LP”
September 1st, 2009 at 9:53 pm
“Bath Time For Baby” (an awkward time for Daddy)
Now… was it throwing out the baby WITH the bathwater
or WITHOUT the bathwater?
…think Mommy would mind if you took a shower instead?
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:11 am
“Shake me I rattle, squeeze me I cry, please take me home and love me”. I can’t take credit for that, I couldn’t resist the comparison to that sad old ’60s song I ripped the lyric out of.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:24 am
Raising a kid is much like eating lobster.
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:54 am
de semen o’ papa!
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:26 am
THIS is how to shrug. Now, you do it on your own, sweetie.
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:31 am
No, Papai, I asked for a song on your CONCERtina.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Next, I’ll need some Pez.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Captured here: Angelina Jolie, age 3 ½ , seconds before ripping out the throat of her first male victim for “unwanted friendly hugging”.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:58 am
Now, that’s really cute!
Congratulations calzone!!!!!!!
Thanks Guys for all the fun stuff!!!
September 6th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Great comments, but calzone! was dead on, congrats!!
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Matt, Just got the shirt! It’s truly swell, in fact it’s swag-o-rific!
Thank’smuch!