Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of record covers from the golden age of LPs


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Music for…

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Don’t get around much anymore

Here are two cover variations for “Night Out Music for Stay-At-Homes”   A nice compilation by Coral recording artists Nat King Cole, Billy Taylor, Errol Garner, etc.   Either one works for me.   Blonde or brunette, obviously staying at home means slipping into something comfortable.     One has company too.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (37 votes, average: 3.84 out of 5)
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Minor threat

“Quiet Music”   (Volume 6)   “Relaxing with Cugat”   Easy Listening For Your Relaxation   Columbia Records   Maybe its me, but this sure looks like a scary scene.       I can imagine this on the cover of a lurid 50’s pulp mag or paperback novel.   Should be called “Quiet, Or Else!, Music” or “Music for a Date Rape”.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (52 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
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“I get that cake or this cat’s a goner”

Happy Songs (For Happy Kids & Kittens)     The Hollywood Orchestra and singers   Tops Records

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (45 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5)
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Ain’t nothing like the real thing

“Music to Sell the Real Thing By … and Other Hits from Ken-L Foods!”     A 1961 “industrial” record put out by advertising agency giant J. Walter Thompson for the K-L Ration dog food manufacturer to get their sales force pumped up to sell, sell, sell.     Here are original songs written to inspire company tail draggers and motivate those who made their living one can of dog food at a time.     Promotional tools and brand prosthelytizing to a bouncy beat.

This is FALSE ADVERTISING.   After listening to this, there’s very little bounce here or any music at all!   The hushed, sexy female voice (“Miss Monologue”?) with her sexual innuendo and double-entendres is very strange in counterpoint to the all-business marketing exec trying to get his dry message across.     (Her: “You’re a big boy now” – Him: “A figure of speech honey”)   This is just terrible.   Like eating dog food!

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (50 votes, average: 3.58 out of 5)
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Drive, he said

“Music While You Drive”   Listening to music while you drive can be perfect.   With the windows rolled up or the top rolled down, sometimes music just sounds best in your automobile.   Crank the volume and the outside world becomes a silent background to the songs.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (47 votes, average: 3.17 out of 5)
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“Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you…”

“Music For Those Who Think Young”   Startime Records for Pepsi

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (42 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5)
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In the playground of my mind

“Music From a Millionaires’ Playground”   EMI Records

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (61 votes, average: 4.02 out of 5)
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For the birds

“Music To Lure Pigeons By”   The Night Pastor and Seven Friends   Claremont Records

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (51 votes, average: 3.51 out of 5)
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Gym dandy

Physical Fitness Exercises for Boys   Kimbo Educational Records   “Set to stimulating music”!   There’s a companion LP of Exercises for Girls with the same cover design.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (43 votes, average: 2.42 out of 5)
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Man or mouse

IMG_5079

A “concept” album for:   Swingers, flingers and ring-a-ding-dingers.   Losers, choosers and credit card boozers.   Psychotics, neurotics and whacked out erotics.   Mismates, blind dates and turned on roomates.

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“Music for RAT FINK Lovers”   Jackie Kannon Rat Fink Records (1964) A new musical experience in social decadence.   Copyright by Cockamamie Enterprises     When to Play This Album:   When she says “Yes”   When she says “No   When your wife is out of town …

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (59 votes, average: 3.73 out of 5)
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